Yep I was right, update today.
Part 3 of Chapter 4 this time. Technically, I really should have just waited to post until I could post this and part 2 together, but I was having a lot of trouble getting this part done so I decided to go ahead with it earlier this week. I realize my chapter system is kinda weird since I keep uploading the chapters in part, sorry if that confuses people.
I do have a bit of a question before I get into my general ramblings about stuff. Did the pacing work in this chapter? Like seriously. I was trying to build up anticipation near the end that's why the scenes started getting shorter and then I started flipping between the main two ones a lot, but I'm not sure it worked.
I mean when I thought of it and when I read it, it worked. I'm just not sure it'll read the same way for anyone else, because I think part of the reason it worked is because I know what's supposed to be going on so I can visualize it in my head.
Was it just annoying to try and juggle the two conversations at once? Or did it actually seem to like build up the pace?
And now on to random ramblings.
I'm not really sure why, but I have a tendency to pick on Hanabi. She's one of those side characters you can do soooo much with but I almost always start her out as a brat. How much she actually knows is up to you to decide. I think she's just trying to sound smart and toss around big words that she wasn't supposed to hear in the first place.
Oh, and those bickering women with Sakura's mother?
I have a confession to make: I've been re-reading Anne of Green Gables. The gossip in it is ridiculous and I just couldn't stop myself from throwing in some gossiping women.
And Sakura probably comes off as really odd in those scenes. I hope it seems natural in the sense that she's digesting a lot (if you don't know what she's digesting...I really messed up and I promise it will be made much clearer within the next to updates).
Also, 'performance' is the most annoying word ever. For starters, I can't frikkin' spell it. It's also dumb. Just really, really dumb but I don't know what else to call it because for some reason, dance looks really dumb too, and it's not technically a play. Bleh.
Lastly...Draaaammmaaaa!
Okay not really, but I don't know what else to call this part of the chapter but my attempt at the dramatics. As in, heaveily staged, I don't think this is going to seem even remotely natural drama - does what I'm writing even make sense? I doubt it, I'm kinda loopy right now.
You'll eventually start noticing that when I post in the morning, I sound loopy, this is because when I post in the morning, I've probably been up all night. But hey, it get's you updates, right?
....
No wait, okay I think this will be the last bit. Is it worth it to just keep updating whenever I finish a chapter, or would you rather I try to set some schedule?
I think I like it this way better - especially since schedules haven't worked so well in the past.
Okay I think that's it.
No wait, one last thing, promise.
You guys know what's coming right? :P
Prepare for angst!!
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To answer your question, I thought the pacing in the chapter was well done. I liked that last bit with the scene changes.
ReplyDeleteHaving it constantly bounce back and forth between two scenes like that was a little confusing at the very beginning, but it evened out pretty quickly once you got used to it – or just skipped over one particular scene set to focus on the other, then went back and read the first again separately, as I did. Then the pacing's not even a concern, much less a problem.
ReplyDeleteHanabi did come off as a bit crass, though, with her comments on Jinchuuriki. But since I don't really know her character all that well, I don't know whether that's normal for her or not.
Yepp, the pace worked alright, I went back and read both scenes without the breaks and it didn't build nearly as much anticipation.
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