Notes – I just realized that Gaara and Gorou’s names are a bit similar. I don’t think it’s so close that you guys will have trouble but if you do I apologize.
Also, this is the first time we’ve really heard from Kyuubi. He’s been making random comments to Naruto for a while now but they’re going to be more frequent from here on out. Would it make more sense if I put Kyuubi’s thoughts in bold? I think I’m going to. Their voices are fairly different but that doesn’t make it any less confusing, let me know and I’ll change it in this chapter too.
I considered making Shino or Kiba the slowest, but honestly at this point in the manga, most of what we’re shown suggests that that isn’t the case. She was probably faster than Sakura in canon, but not at this point in this fic. She'll get her 'redemption' so to speak. It would be fair to say that in general, Team 7 is a bit out of touch with what their peers are capable of.
And I know some people are going to think Naruto got caught way too easily, but when you’re expecting some seriously nasty jutsu, a rag over the mouth isn’t something you’re watching out for. I’ll write more explicit fights in the future, this first one just wasn’t important enough and as is pointed out, one on one the Cloud team isn’t impressive; their skills lie in stealth and ambush. Once they lost the element of surprise, they lost the upper hand. Exactly what this Cloud team did will be explained, but not for a bit (as in not during this exam or the finals…sorry).
If you remember (and I know most of you won’t) Anko mentioned at the end Snakes I that Kakashi was monitoring his students communication through Amarante code. Now you know why he was so drunk; I mean, can you imagine getting just those few warnings and not even knowing who they were going up against (and when he found out the next day…).
I’m sure this new code is going to really annoy people but it’s too much fun to write to take out of something like this.
Reviewers' Answers:
Yes, Naruto's mother in canon is Uzumaki Kushina. I started writing this fanfic before they came out and I came up with a non canon replacement who's identity was actually important to the fic. For this reason, when Kushina was revealed in canon I decided to just keep going with the original character, so here his mother is a woman named Mitarashi Anmitsu who happens to be Anko's aunt and one of Jiraiya's student (along with Morino Ibiki and Namikaze Minato).
Seriously though, I'm like dying to know why so many people decided to tell me this now. Please? Someone?
Great chapter all in all. I agree with Cloud's skills, but maybe their Jinchuuriki being different since their on a whole other level.
ReplyDeleteAlso with you on Team 7 is out of touch with the other's teams abilities. Yet at the same time so are they with their knowledge of Team 7's as well.
Codes fine, it's already a part of their communication. Let the people deal with it or piss off. :)
Naruto's mother thing is no big deal since you traveled a different path then canon. It's interesting anyways.
Look forward to what's ahead, it should be a blast.
this is first time you mentioned Naruto's mother
ReplyDeleteby name. Unless you posted your story notes and
outlines somewhere, using a different name there
doesn't really count.
I loved The newest chapter of Juniper - Snakes 2.
ReplyDeleteThe snake is finally here, oh man are they in trouble now. Time to see what they are made of. I love that Anko is Naruto's cousin.
Anyway I look forward to more of any of your stories, but most recently Juniper.
If you are still wondering why reviewer only recently started to complain about the mother being different, then I think I know why. Untill the chapter where Kakashi burnt down his house, you never came out and said how the womans name Kakashi was dropping was realated to anyone. You hinted,alluded, and even infered about her but never said that she was Naruto's mother.
ReplyDeleteI do say that even after another read through your storry still held up. I would sugest that you take all the snake interludes and combine them, but that can be put off untill the editing phase.
My last bit of, I guess it would be considered criticizm, would be this. If you are finding it so hard to write the Forest of Death from Team 7's point of view, then you could always expaned the interludes into longer chapters. Describing their actions in the forest from an obsiver point of view, allowing you to gibe the reader a look into how the rest of the rookies think they stack up against Team 7 without actually having them fight.
Okay, I guess thats it on this pitiful excues at reviewing your story a second time. Just want to let you know that there are still people who look forward to how this story progresses.